Saturday April 1st, 2006

I am not happy, because you told me that you do not trust me that I will only call your auntie home phone number ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY. I am not happy, because I do not even trust myself.....I do not trust myself, because even if you give me your auntie home phone number, I know I will call it even if it is not emergency. <- This is why I feel unhappy and sad. I love you so much and I care about you, I give everything to you.... BUT YOU CANNOT GIVE ME YOUR AUNTIE HOME PHONE NUMBER. I know that I will trust myself, but I really wanted your auntie home phone number. I really wanted and now you see right through me; I don't even trust myself, because you know that I will call your auntie home phone number even if it is not an emergency. It's okay I don't need it anymore, because I now know that I do not need it.

Even if you give me your auntie home phone number, you know and I know that I will call you even if it is not an emergency, so just don't give it to me. I don't trust myself, because you point this out to me when I ask for you auntie home phone number, I told you that I will call you in only an emergency but you said that you do not trust me that I will. Just don't give me your auntie home phone number. In an emergency I will try your other cell phone, than your mom (harbin), and then I will try your office, and if I still cannot reach you, I will call the Beijing Police and to tell them what happened to me and why its an emergency.

My brother come into my room and ask me where did the cookies that he buy for his son (Max). I did not answer, but he woke me up and he just ask me where are the cookies. He then told me to go out and buy some cookies for Max, but I was sleeping and I was very angry that he woke me up. I got out of my bed and just yelled at the top of my voice... two times. After that my throat hurt and then I throw my wardrobe at my mirror, but I was not aiming for the mirror. It just hit the mirror and the door, I just hear glass break and then I go back to bed.

I went back to bed and I cried, because I wanted you to tell me that everything was ok and that it was not my fault for breaking the mirror on my door. I try to call you, but your cell phone was turned off and then I call your mom and dad, but no one answer. I try calling later and your dad answer the phone, your dad call you, but you did not hear it because you were still asleep. I was really crying for you Vicky, but if you have given me your auntie home phone number, I would have been able to talk too you and you would tell me that everything is ok and that it was not my fault that I break the mirror on the door. After I break the mirror on the door, my brother come with vacuum cleaner to clean up the glass and he know it was his fault. When I was crying on my bed, I said to myself that I love you so much and that I wish you were here with me, to comfort me... to let me know that everything is ok.

Download Jay Chow - Hair Like Snow MV:

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4:40pm Beijing Time - Ryan Ho

Tuesday March 28th, 2006

After finish talking with you on the phone, taking bath, I realize one thing is that I mean everything that I said to you. I really want you to Marry me, I can Marry you, please I really did not nothing wrong to you and I don't know why you would say those things that you have said to me last night. I can Marry you, and I will Marry you. Please don't talk about this again, and I told you before please don't say these things about our Marriage. I will Marry you and I can Marry you. I'm not that kind of person you said last night, please I must have you and I must need you as my wife for the rest of my life. I don't want you to say things that are not true about me, but last night you really make me upset.... even if you train me.... you know in your heart you go to far. I yell, because I was really yelling for you my wife and that I need you as my wife. IF YOU DO NOT MARRY ME AND IF YOU SAY THAT I CANNOT MARRY YOU... I WILL PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD, JUMP OFF OF BRIDGE, KILL MYSELF. I give my entire self to you and ONLY YOU....

I know last night, I hear you cry and you also hear me cry on the phone. I was really yelling for my life, my wife, and everything that I have given to you. I really did not mean to make you cry, but you know and you hear it on the phone that I cry first. I really love you and I need you as my wife for the rest of my life. For the rest of your life, I'll be your husband. I hope you understand that its alright and I didn't mean to make you cry last night, but I really was yelling for my life and for my wife for her to Marry Me and to believe that I am the one for her. I will and I can Marry you, we are already Marry with each other, you just don't know it.

You don't have to test me or train me, but you can if you want. You already know that I am the one for you and I am the best for you. For so long we do not have argument and I love you so much this is why I have been very good... to show you that I am the right one for you. You already have your Wedding Ring and I am still waiting for your Wedding Ring, but I know it will soon arrive. I really love you Vicky and I want you as my wife for the rest of my life, for the rest of your life we will be husband and wife. You don't have to train me, but you can if you want. I show you already that I am the best for you and that I am that your Husband. Everything that I do now, is for you and not for myself. I love you and I am serious about Marrying you and this is why I buy your Wedding Ring. Please I can and I will Marry You.

Look at yourself, you are so beautiful and to me you are my Angel. You are God sent and I will be more than happy to be your Husband. I want you to be my Wife, I have given everything to you and I also give you my life. I don't care about myself anymore, I want you as my Wife and I am willing to give you my entire self. I pay for you with my life, my family last name, and my ancestors, with my Heart, Soul, EVERYTHING. I need you as my wife and without you, I am nobody.... my life will fall apart without you. Without you, I will kill myself... for sure I will kill myself. I have given everything to you, I will surely kill myself because I will have nothing to live for.... my life will not be worth living anymore.... I give you EVERYTHING. PLEASE MARRY ME, PLEASE COME TO TORONTO, PLEASE KEEP OUR PROMISE, CONTRACT, AND AGREEMENT.

Vicky I really want to make it very clear to you and I hope you will read very carefully about what I am about to type. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I see you as my wife. Please keep our promise, contract, and agreement with each other. Always remember that I love you 135% and I love you beyond comprehension (understanding). I will do everything and much more in my DVD Proposal for you (please watch it again) and I will work very hard at work for you too save my money for you. I want you to know what I can sacrifice everything that I have for, meaning I am willing to give up everything that I have just for you and I know you are saying "xia shao" but I am telling you the truth. I can give up my work, money, house, parents, computer, clothes, bed, everything that I just for you.

I have already begged you on my knees with my ancestors to Marry me, I have given up my family name for you to Marry me and stay with me for the rest of my life. Vicky, I love you 135%, I love your mom, dad, and your family. I care about them and I respect them and I do whatever it takes for me to help you to support them. I was not joking when I asked you, "Do you want me to mail money to your mom and dad." I love you Vicky and I love your family, your parents as well. I love you 135%. Please keep our promise, contract, and agreement. 

Download Song Here : http://promagsticinc.evangel-list.com/MP3/Micheal Buble - Home.mp3

2:35am Beijing Time - Ryan Ho

Saturday March 26th, 2006

I really didn't know that you were in the washroom when I call you about 10pm your time, but I tried so many times and each time I try to call you. Your cell phone will not say anything or no sound and I have tried calling you at least 10 times. I then call your mom and I beg her to call you, but still I don't know if she call you or not.

I know and I'm sorry that I was supposed to call you at 8:30pm, but I woke up late and after I wake up I call you right away. When I saw my alarm clock, I call you right away, because I was 1hour and 30 minutes late. How do I know in my sleep if you are in washroom, but really I didn't know.

I tried to talk too you on the phone, but you were watching TV and didn't really listen to what I was saying to you on the phone. I said I was sorry and I tried to talk too you, but you were still watching TV, so I kiss you goodnight and ask you to keep our promise, contract, and agreement. Then I kiss you goodnight, and turn off the phone. Really, I am sorry and I really wanted you to talk too me and turn off the TV.

I tried to sing this song to you, but you were watching TV. I was holding back my tears, because each word of this song is so true. Why, I sometimes feel like the way the song feels. I just wanna go home and talk to you on the phone; where I am going... what I am doing, just go home call you and talk to you on the phone. I just wanna.... go home and be with you my Lo Por Vicky.

Micheal Buble - Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris (Toronto) or Rome (Beijing)
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane (Bus)
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I gotta go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In either Paris (Toronto) or Rome (Beijing)
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be alright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Even at work, I just wanna finish my work and then go home quickly to talk too you on the phone. I don't care how long or how slow the Subway is going, I just wanna get home and talk with you on the phone. Yes, I still keep all the letters that I have written to you on my computer, because they are very important to me and you.

Lo Por, WO AI NI please keep our promise, contract, and agreement. WO AI NI 135% 

11:57pm Beijng Time - Ryan 

I'm you're Angel

 WO AI NI, 521, 135%, Keep our promise, contract, and agreement.

Please click here to play the music:

http://www.promagsticinc.evangel-list.com/Vicky.m3u

Nicholas Tse - Only Nicholas

This is me

Click Here to see pictures

1:55am Beijing Time - Ryan